Tough...
Sweet...
Everybody has one...

Learner or judge?

"Such an idiot, why does he keep doing that?!" Have you noticed how such thoughts pop up all the time? We really want someone to blame. Being in a judging position creates negative emotions. It also affects the surrounding people. It is rarely an effective way of working, so it costs your organization a lot of money.

By changing to a learner’s position, you can invite flow, creativity and kindness. A learner’s question could be: “What happened that made this person do something different to what I wanted him to do?” Or - if you realize you have already jumped into the judging position and want to help yourself out: “Is there some other way I could see this situation?”

Establishing personal relations with empathy
The key is to examine and acknowledge the feelings and needs at stake. In the example above the needs could be for recognition, trust, cooperation – and the feelings could be of stress, failure or resignation. Seeing and containing this is like shifting gear. It enables you to establish personal relations with empathy that promote a trusting and creative environment. This kind of conscious communication is a strong personal transformative practice that can be trained and refined. It provides a way to recognize, make room for, and express all aspects of your own and others’ personality –  which is a key element of that which we call integrity.

Direction provides one-to-one and group training for persons who want to deepen their ability to do this kind of inner inquiry. We also provide this kind of training ad-hoc in situations of crisis, confrontation and conflict.

See also:
The power of the shadow